My marriage

“The simple pleasures are the best! You guys clearly get that!”

This was a comment left on a post I made on Facebook this morning. (Thanks, Mr. Carney!) And, it couldn’t be any more true. Al and I get it. I feel the need to share about our relationship to help people better understand us. Not sure why I feel this need, but I do.

Let’s begin.

Al and I started dating in March of 2004. We had both had some not-so-hot relationships. I had been married twice. Yes, twice. Al was engaged twice. Yes, twice. We took it slow. Plus, a big factor in our relationship at that time was that he was my boss. Yep, he was the editor of the paper and I was one of the reporters. Here’s a fun fact…Al had actually attended my second wedding. And no, he WAS NOT the reason my marriage failed. Al had absolutely nothing to do with my divorce. He was, however, my sounding board while I was going through my divorce. I can’t tell you how many times I went to him – talking, crying, complaining, crying, asking for advice, crying, etc. He was always there to listen to me. And, vice versa. He was also going through a rocky relationship at the time (not with anyone he was engaged to) and I was there to listen to him and offer him advice. We became the best of friends.

When I made the decision to get divorced, Al helped me find an apartment and also helped me move in when I found a place. I moved in January 1 of 2004. And it so happened the place I moved into was two apartment buildings down from him. He lived in building one and I lived in building three. On the weekends I didn’t have my son, Al and I would spend a lot of time together. We would go to St. Cloud and sit for hours at a time at Barnes and Noble. We would go out to eat. We would go to Brainerd with some friends of ours. We shared everything. He knows my WHOLE story and I know his. We got close. We talked about dating but once again, he was my boss. We didn’t know how that work.

Well, eventually, we couldn’t stop the inevitable. We started dating. I honestly believe that both of us knew this was going to happen, even though we tried not to let it. But, when two people are meant to be, there are truly meant to be. And I mean that in all sincerity. I know it is cliché, but I know deep in my soul that Al and I meant for each other. Yes, I know it is another cliché, but we are truly soulmates. 100 percent.

lobsgter claw

We love food and sometimes, you just have to play with your food!

being goofy

Sometimes, we love to be goofy and yes, occasionally, we even dress alike! 

There were people who thought it was wrong for us to be together. There were people who thought we wouldn’t last. There were people who were shocked that we were a couple. And then there were people, like us, who knew we were perfect for one another. That we were meant to be.

I am so happy for those people.

Let me tell you about our relationship. It’s quite unique and very rare in this day and age.

But first I have to tell you something else. I am happy for my first two marriages. I learned from both of them. I am thankful to Rod, my first husband and my son’s dad. Without him, I wouldn’t have Brandon. He is a great guy and he still holds a very special place in my heart. We were just not meant for each other. And I think we both knew that and accepted it. He is still a very big part of my life and I am grateful for that. I love the relationship he has with Brandon and I couldn’t have asked for a better dad for my son. They have such a bond. Truly, I have to admit that sometimes, I am jealous about it. Their relationship is awesome and I thank Rod for putting in the effort to make it what it is. Not all dads do that and I am blessed that Brandon’s dad did. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great relationship with my son. I love it. He just has a deeper, unique bond with Rod. He’s one lucky kid.

As for the second marriage, I am also grateful for it. It taught be who I didn’t want to be. I no longer speak to my second husband. We have no reason to. And that is completely fine with me. Again, he was a great guy. We just were definitely not meant to be. I learned so much from that relationship – mostly about myself. And I am thankful it happened. I have no regrets.

Now, let me get back to my relationship with Al, the love of my life.

picnic at inspiration peak

Having picnics is one of our FAVORITE things to do. 

shoveling snow

We even make shoveling snow fun!

monkey love cookie

This describes us to a tee! Monkey Love – that’s what we share. 

Here are some things you may not know:

  1. We DO NOT fight. Ever. Yes, we might disagree on something, but we don’t raise our voices, we don’t get mad. In the 12 and a half years we have been together, I think we have had two fights. Maybe. We truly are on the same page. We know what comprise is. We know what COMMUNICATING is. We have nothing to argue about. And I mean that. We just don’t fight.
  2. We not only are madly in love with each other – yes, still to this day – but we actually truly like each other and I feel that is so important. We care about each other. We put each other first. We put each other up on a pedestal. Always. Every. Single. Day.
  3. We actually like hanging out. Wait, let me rephrase that. WE LOVE HANGING OUT – together, just the two of us. We thoroughly enjoy spending time together. Yes, even though we now are working together again, we still LOVE spending time together after work and on weekends. To be 100 percent completely honest, that is our favorite thing to do. Just be with each other. Not that we don’t like hanging out with other people, we do. And we always have fun. But it’s just we would much rather have it be just us. I know, it’s weird. Again, we do enjoy time spent with family and friends. We have fun. And we will make time for family and friends, but not all the time. I know sometimes my friends get annoyed with me because I will only do stuff if I know Al isn’t going to be home. But, I miss him when we are apart. And, vice versa. People may find this disturbing or silly or gross or whatever it is they feel, but it is so hard to explain to people. Most relationships are not like ours. Husbands love being away from their wives. Wives love time away from their husbands. We don’t. Are we weird? Maybe. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
  4. We live for our Saturday night date nights. It is our favorite thing to do. It never gets old. It never gets boring. NEVER.
  5. We talk about everything. We share everything. We get each other. Sometimes, we know exactly what the other person is thinking. Sometimes, we read each other’s minds. For instance, the other day, I was scrolling through pictures and saw a picture of some lasagna roll-ups we had awhile back and thought about telling Al he should make those for supper some night. I never told him. I didn’t say a word to him. When I came home from work, guess what Al had made for supper? Yep, you guessed it. Lasagna roll-ups. I have to admit, it kind of weirded us out, but yet, stuff like that happens. All. The. Time.

There is so much more I could share, but by now, you are all probably gagging at our relationship. I know there are some who are.

My wish for every woman out there? To find your one true love. You may have to go through several “frogs” before you find your “prince” but it can happen. It does happen. It happened to me. I honestly don’t know what I would do without Al. He understands me. I understand him.

We are a team. We work together. We make time for each other. We communicate with one another. We compromise. We utterly love each other from the deepest depths of our souls. We are us – in all our sugary, lovey-dovey, sickeningly sweet marriage glory…take it or leave it!

mudbath

Yep, this is a mud bath!

elevator shot

Having fun in the elevator. Yes, I “make” him take LOTS of photos. LOTS! 

book

This is a book I received one Valentine’s Day. Inside, Al had to fill in all the pages. It was one of the most thoughtful presents I have ever received. I have received some of THE MOST thoughtful presents from him. And most often, it’s not anything expensive. But every time, it comes from the heart and are meaningful. I love every single present I have received – from the fruit to the flowers to the chocolates and the coffee and everything in between. 

book date night

This is a page out of the book. LOVE IT!

shadows

We take LOTS of walks and sometimes, they are late at night after we’ve had a glass or two of wine. I have LOTS of shadow pics under street lights around our neighborhood. 

us 2

This is from our five-year wedding anniversary and will always be my FAVORITE picture of us. 

winter walking

Even in the freezing cold winter we go for walks around the neighborhood late at night. And we ALWAYS have fun. 

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3 thoughts on “My marriage

  1. I enjoyed reading your article. I never thought about it before really but divorce does teache lessons. After you know what you don’t want it’s so much easier to recognize what you really do want. It sounds like you and Al have a wonderful relationship, and are both old enough and wise enough to treasure it. Continued happiness! ♡♡

    Like

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