Standing on a soapbox

guilt and shame

I read this on a friend’s Facebook page, which you can check out here, and I thought I would share my thoughts. First off, she was spot on and I couldn’t agree more strongly! Way to go, Phoenix!

I have been on my healthy living journey (that’s what I call it because I don’t use the “D” word. You know, THAT one…DIET!) since November of 2008. That is when I joined Weight Watchers and my life changed…for the better and for the good. Yes, when I started, I would feel that guilt…you know, the one that makes us spiral out of control and feel like a such a huge failure.

But then, I got smarter. I learned. I got rid of the GUILT!

I learned that just because I ate a piece of cake or cookies or doughnuts or pizza or fast food or whatever, I wasn’t a bad person. I was me. The same person. I didn’t change just because I ate whatever it was I thought I shouldn’t be eating. I wasn’t a bad, horrible person. I wasn’t a monster. AND I definitely WASN’T a failure. I learned quickly through Weight Watchers that there truly are no “bad” foods. I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted. BUT….I had/have to be accountable for it. I had/have to track it. I had/have to take ownership of it. I had/have to eat it and then, move on. Get over it. Quit thinking about it. Quit OBSESSING about it.

It wasn’t the cake or the cookies or the pizza or doughnuts that made me have a gain from time to time. It was what I did – or didn’t do – afterward.

I have to admit that being free from guilt and the shame that follows allows me to move on more quickly. So what if I stop at the convenience store to get gas in morning before heading out and I grab two doughnuts to eat on the way. (Casey’s gas station long johns, by the way, are only 6 PointsPlus Values each!). That doesn’t have to define my day. It doesn’t have to define me. My lunch choices can be better and so can my supper choices. I can go for a walk or run or bike ride or head to the gym. It doesn’t mean I screwed up. It means that I ate two doughnuts. Period. That’s it. Those doughnuts DO NOT make me a bad person. No food makes you a bad person. You don’t have to spiral out of control. YOU HAVE CONTROL!

If we could rid ourselves of the guilt and shame and just MOVE ON, it would be SO MUCH better.

How do we do that? We let ourselves be human. We quit thinking the journey is going to be perfect. Or that WE are going to be perfect. AND…we QUIT DIETING! AARGH!!!!!!!! We quit thinking of food as bad and good. We quit thinking of ourselves as bad or good. We QUIT thinking we “cheated!” You didn’t cheat. You are NOT a cheater. Cheating, according to the dictionary on my computer, is to act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, especially in a game or examination; be sexually unfaithful; or to avoid something undesirable by luck or skill. We didn’t cheat just because we ate a friggin’ cookie.

We learn to live a healthier LIFESTYLE. We allow ourselves to indulge every once and awhile. We quit telling ourselves, “I CAN’T have that or I can’t have this.” We tell ourselves, “I can have this. I can I have that. I am choosing not to or I am choosing to have a smaller quantity.” We quit saying that there are GOOD foods and BAD foods. (Unless you are talking about Little Debbie snack cakes, because, yeah, those are bad!) But it’s not going to stop me from eating them once in awhile.

ALL food is okay…IN MODERATION! Seriously, people, that is the key.

I don’t know about you guys, but when I tell myself, “I can’t have that. It’s bad for me,” I want it even more. So, I quit telling myself that. And, it’s helped. Tremendously. Yes, there are some foods I rarely eat anymore. But not because they are “bad” for me. It’s because they are not worth it. They are not worth the WW points. And yes, since November of 2008, I still track my points. It’s really not that hard. REALLY! Do I always do it perfectly? Heck no. But I still do it. (Except when I am on vacation!)

Okay. So that is my rant. Plain and simple. Quit beating yourself up. You CAN do this. You DO have the control. You ARE a good person. Just be ACCOUNTABLE! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and GET BACK ON TRACK! Immediately.

OKAY, WE’RE MOVING ON…

I have begun my training for the Denver Rock ‘n’ Roll Half-Marathon! I started July 1. Here is a look at each month of my training. Feel free to let me know your thoughts:

1training - july

2training - august

3training - september

4training - october

I found two different training programs online that I liked and then I combined them into one that worked for me, according to my schedule. It’s very similar to the one I did for the Fargo Half-Marathon this past May. I am excited to have a half-marathon in the schedule to train for. As much as I like running the 5K’s and the 10K’s and even the 10-milers, I think I am starting to like the 13.1 mile race! Actually, to be honest, the 10K is definitely my favorite distance.  And no, for those of you wondering, there will NEVER be a full marathon in my future. Maybe. Just maybe, there could possibly be a duathlon. Maybe. I like the running part, it’s the fast biking I’m not too keen on. Don’t get me wrong, I love to bike. Just at a leisurely pace. But, who knows what the future may bring!

WE CLEAN UP PRETTY GOOD!

Most of the pictures I post on here are of myself running or biking or pictures of my husband and I after a race. Well, last weekend, my husband, son and myself went to a wedding reception of my son’s best friend. I have to say, we clean up pretty darn good!

Here are some pics from the reception:

brandon and me

My son, Brandon, and me. Cute little story…at the beginning of the dance, the members of the wedding party, after dancing for a few minutes, were to go out into the crowd and grab someone new to dance with when the DJ yelled, “snowball.” Well, snowball was hollered out and Brandon made his way to our table. His date was sitting with us and she had her back to the dance floor. I was telling her that Brandon was on his way and she better get ready. To my surprise, and probably hers as well, he grabbed ME! He actually took me out to the dance floor. I was pleasantly surprised. Thanks, Brandon! You made your mom’s night!

al and i

Al and me. Isn’t he the cutest, most handsomest guy! LOVE HIM! (And yes, by the way, Minnie Mouse does come to mind when I look at my outfit!)

al and I at the reception

This picture was taken by the photographer and posted on the bride’s Facebook page. I just love how happy we look. Good thing it’s not just for show. We truly are THAT happy! Thank God!

Take care my friends. Have a safe, fun and Happy Fourth of July!

 

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8 thoughts on “Standing on a soapbox

  1. You are such a wonderful person and I just want to tell you how very proud I am to be your Mom!!!! Yes Honey, I am so very proud that you are my Daughter!
    Love you Sweetheart!!

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  2. You looked FAB at the reception! As a Dietitian, I wholeheartedly agree with your philosophy that eating healthy doesn’t mean we’re perfect. So many of my clients would totally go off the wagon if they ate one “bad” food. Keep up the good work!

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  3. Hi Celeste
    I love this post. I still occasionally “feel the guilt”…but I am getting better!! Sometimes after a mini-binge, I will feel ashamed–but then decide to track it to see how bad it is. AND surprisingly most of the time it really isn’t as bad as I have made it out to be in my head..most of the time it turns out that I have only just dipped into my 49 weekly points. BIG DEAL!! I can’t wait until I get to a more positive frame of mind on a more regular basis instead of beating myself up for eating something that I isn’t necessarily the best choice. Until then, I will keep looking to you to keep me motivated:)

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    1. You are so right, Becky…ashamed might be the better word. BUT, right you are again when we actually track it, many times it not that bad. We just feel bad. So, stop beating yourself up…eat it and move on! Keep up the great work!

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